I have been there and I know that you’ve probably been there too -offering thoughtful advice to a friend, feeling like the wise sage of the group.
However…….when it comes to applying those same pearls of wisdom to your own life? Poof. Suddenly, things aren’t so clear
Which leads to this question: Why is it so hard to take our own advice?
Well, its all about perspective. When someone else is facing a challenge, you’re not emotionally entangled. You see the big picture. But when it’s your life? Things change.
Suddenly you feel as though you are knee-deep in emotions, overthinking, and second-guessing. Psychologists call this the fundamental attribution error—we tend to blame circumstances for our own mistakes (“The sidewalk was uneven!”) but chalk up others’ slip-ups to their flaws (“They’re clumsy.”).Of course, this clouds your perspective.
When advising someone else, we focus on solutions. But for ourselves? We tend to fixate on what could go wrong.
That doesn’t mean self-advice is useless. In fact, paying attention to the advice you give others can be a powerful mirror. Next time you catch yourself saying, “Just do what feels right to you,”…….Pause and ask yourself –Am I following that same wisdom?
Here are a few tips to make self-advice stick:
1.Pretend You’re Advising a Friend – Write down your situation as if it’s someone else’s problem. What would you tell them?
2.Take a Step Back – Give yourself some distance before making decisions. Sleep on it or talk it through with a trusted friend.
3.Ground Yourself in Values – When emotions cloud judgment, return to what truly matters to you. What aligns with your values?
4.Practice Self-Compassion – You’re human. You’ll stumble.You will make mistakes. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others.
So, the next time self-doubt creeps in, remember that advice you so easily and comfortably offer others…….. It’s probably what you need to hear, too.
💡Want to explore how to gain clearer insight into your own leadership challenges? Let’s connect-I’d love to help you become your own best adviser.