Now that we’ve explored why boundaries are essential and that they are, in fact, for you, it’s time to dive into the “how.” The practical side of things.
Setting and maintaining boundaries is a skill that evolves over time, requiring reflection, patience, and consistency. They don’t happen overnight however, done well, boundaries protect your well-being and strengthen your relationships. They also quickly become second nature for you.
Ready to take control? Here are some powerful strategies to guide you in establishing and maintaining healthy, lasting boundaries:
- Trial and evaluate – build them up slowly at a comfortable pace, reflecting on how you feel and whether a particular boundary is serving you
- Reflection is a powerful tool – take time to reflect on why each boundary is important to you and how it will benefit your well-being. Reflect on what you have learnt each time an interaction with someone [at home or at work] leaves you feeling uncomfortable. Tweak if you need to.
- Start as you mean to continue – set boundaries early in relationships so everyone knows where they stand and emotions can be managed. It is harder to implement boundaries into existing relationships, particularly if they curtail existing behaviours, however this should not stop you having this conversation. Your boundaries will vary depending on the type of relationship.
- Consistency is key – letting things slide creates confusion in others so work to establish clear boundaries which you adhere to.
- Apply social media boundaries too – let others know what personal information and photos you are happy to have shared or to be tagged in.
- Keep the chat happening – have conversations [not confrontations] when others push your boundaries and especially when others keep on stepping over yours. Highlight the behaviour while identifying what you will tolerate. Smile. Repeat and repeat again, assertively drawing attention to your boundary if necessary.
- Validate yourself often – boundaries demonstrate self-love and self-worth. They show others how you know you deserve to be treated. Work on yourself if you find it tough to set and maintain boundaries.
- Retain some flexibility – remind yourself that you can trust your gut instinct and navigate your way through situations using your humanness including your intuition.
- Recognise others have boundaries too – appreciate and honour these, especially when they are different from your own. Ask if you need clarity.