What Is The Correlation Between Complaining And Success And Is There
A Connection Between A Sense Of Entitlement And First World Problems?
Google “First World Problem“ and you may be surprised at what you find. Then again you may not.
The Urban Dictionary defines First World Problems as “Problems from living in a wealthy, industrialised
nation that third worlders would probably roll their eyes at”.
Check out examples in “First World Problem Memes” and you will probably roll your eyes at things like:
- Battery died in the car remote…….had to unlock it with the key
- Had to wake up for the ironing lady to come and collect our clothes and she still isn’t here.
- I tried to spread cold butter on my toast…….And the bread ripped.
- I became CEO of my company – now I will never be promoted again.
Yes – these are all funny at first reading, however for me they point to an issue that is not spoken about very much.
Many people have become so used to instant gratification and having simple things done for them that they are
becoming lazy, developing a sense of entitlement and stepping back from the challenge of taking control of their own lives
and their own destiny. A well-developed sense of entitlement, being raised to believe that we are precious, receiving a medal
for simply turning up combined
with helicopter parenting, makes us very thin skinned, holding us back while we wait for others to take the initiative and to provide the fun. I am sure that you will know entitled people who complain constantly about their situation, whatever form that may take, and who are very slow to accept the consequences of their actions, or inaction. Many of us have been subjected to or witnessed the serial complainer who uses social media platforms like their plaything, engaging in complaining as a sport for fun, to validate themselves, to pass the time and, quite simply, because they can.
At first glance it seems odd that there may be a correlation between complaining and success . Look closer and you will see that there is in fact a strong connection. Think of it this way, from your own perspective – while you may be struggling to be clear about what you do want, you can quickly get clarity and a great picture of what you don’t want. Once you have the negative established in your mind and have given it a label, it becomes easier to vocalise your dissatisfaction and disapproval of how things are. Social media gives us a platform to complain on – validating negativity through likes, shares and comments of support. The things you complain about, while taking on a huge size in your own mind, tend to be of less and less consequence, become so small that, in the overall scheme of things, they matter to no-one else.
When you are spending time complaining about the things that you don’t like, what someone said to you or the obstacles that you think you may be facing, you are actually wasting time being negative and this is time that you will never ever get back. Your negative focus closes the door on opportunities. You become too busy talking about what is going wrong to embrace the opportunity to grow and learn new things, to see the obstacle as the glorious gift that is actually is and to take advantage of that. Your complaining is sucking up your time and focus, all the while keeping you from success.
Maya Angelou captures it beautifully in her quote “What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.”
So…. how does this relate to you and your view of the world right now? What can you do to move from complaining about inconsequential first world problems to developing an attitude and mindset of success?
My Five Top Tips For Breaking The Complaining Cycle Are:
- Reframe your thinking quickly identifying what is possible rather than what is not possible.
- Build your positive creativity, by quickly and deliberately following every new idea you or someone else has with “Yes what I love about that idea is…….and my idea is……..”
- Practice gratitude every single day because you do have lots to be grateful for
- Remind yourself constantly that your focus directs where your energy goes so keep a deliberate and positive focus on the success you plan to achieve today
- Learn to see the gifts that every challenge gives you – sometimes this will be hard however, they are there so keep on looking
While I have no doubt that you can use these five tips to begin to break the cycle of complaining, as your coach I can assist you to develop additional strategies to break this pattern of behaviour and to reframe your thinking with a focus on setting targets and achieving success, keeping you accountable on your journey to success and celebrating with you, without complaining, every step of the way.
Contact me now for a complimentary 30-minute coaching session to see if we fit.
Beth Berghan is an international coach who works with people just like you – entrepreneurs, business owners, executives and anyone in transition – to develop and implement communication and time management strategies needed to maintain your work/life harmony. Her First World Problem is figuring out how to take over the world one country at a time and wondering whether she needs a bike licence to do this.