Toxic people can, and do, mess our lives up. This is regularly discussed at coaching sessions and workshops I facilitate as clients struggle with recognising and letting go of those who bring toxicity with them.
Toxic people come in and out of our lives and can park themselves in our consciousness. Throughout our lives we encounter all types of human beings – you know….lovers, haters, friends, frenemies, those we enjoy, those we dislike on sight, liars and those who seek truth in every interaction. The bottom line is that we will either benefit from, be harmed by or are neutral to every single person we meet.
Each person, each type of individual, teaches us lessons – especially those that we benefit from and those that are harming us. The trick is to learn to recognise those people who inflict the damage and understanding who does it intentionally and who is unintentional in their behaviours. Recognition is the key because it leads to you taking action to resolve the situation and the conflict it causes – both internal and external.
Check out these 5 common behaviours of toxic people:
Blame Shifters
- Strong tendency to blame others when things go wrong
- Feel victimised and refuse to take accountability for their own actions and decisions
- Will “dump you under the bus” to protect themselves
- Poor self-discipline keeps them in the cycle
Attention Seekers
- Determined to be the centre of attention at every opportunity – because they need it to feel good about themselves
- Pushes others out of the way by constantly talking over them or getting to the front
- Devalues achievements of others by having a “better” story
- Does not cope well with being ignored
Self-serving Takers
- Approach life with a “What’s in it for me?” attitude, focused on getting as much as they can
- Quick to manipulate situations to get the WIIFM outcome they desire
- Try to build a sense of guilt and apprehension in others in order to get their own way
- Take, take, take while finding excuses to not give back
Gloomy Gossipers
- Tell stories – often exaggerated or untrue – about others to make themselves feel better
- Thrive off the difficult situations others are experiencing
- Enjoy pointing the finger at others, highlighting mistakes and potential scandal
- Display little to no empathy about the impact gossip may have on others
Cranky Complainers
- Complain constantly, about every little thing, to anyone who will listen
- Complain even when there is nothing to complain about
- Notice what everyone else does wrong and complains about it
- Not always rational especially when complaining about “them” or “they”
Take some time to reflect on people in your life that you may feel a disconnect with. If you recognise some of these toxic behaviours in them, make a mental note to keep your distance. Be deliberate about that by managing your interactions with them – making time limits on the amount of time you spend with them is an example of this. There are many different ways that you can work with me including my Deliberate Re-Set program, one on one coaching packages and team coaching. Drop me a note if you would like more information. xx